This is a mock dialog on methods to get rid of the wage gap. Inspired by the recent conversation between Jordan Peterson and Cathy Newman. I’ll be basing my argument on the United States system. This is meant to be mildly humorous. I know there is no person like the wage gap debater below.
- Wage Gap Focused Debater (WG)
- Policy Expert (PE)
WG: Getting rid of the wage gap is simple. You just require companies to pay equal pay for equal work.
PE: Laws already exist that do that. They’ve been in place since the 60’s.
WG: You are a pig faced, horse fucker. Those laws aren’t working since they don’t go far enough.
PE: What would you change about that law?
WG: I don’t know. I didn’t know it was illegal to discriminate against women. Why does the wage gap exist then?
PE: The wage gap is due to unequal pay for unequal work, women’s lack of negotiation for pay raises, women working fewer hours, and women leaving the work force for family.
WG: What do you mean unequal pay for unequal work? That sounds racist, you trans-phobic piece of shit.
PE: Women choose jobs that don’t have as high of salaries. Their industry may have significant labor surpluses. It could also be because of the work being done not creating value for a company. There are many factors.
WG: Society forces women to do those things! If I had a gun, I would stab you. How can you say women do not create value with their labor?
PE: Women choose to do jobs that they enjoy or feel they would be good at. Men do the same thing. Women and men have different tasks they prefer. It appears to be biological. This doesn’t mean they are worse at the tasks they decide not to do. The jobs they choose to do may not result in revenue or profit for a company that justifies higher salaries.
WG: Can’t we just force women to do those high paying jobs? Even if they don’t want to, we could force them.
PE: I am not sure that is a path we want to go down.
WG: Maybe you’re right. Can’t we just make it so all jobs pay the same?
PE: That would mean there are no market signals for which job are the most important for society. No one would be willing to clean toilets for a living. Can you imagine trying to force someone to clean a sewer for the same pay as any other job?
WG: That would mean everyone would get CEO pay!
PE: No one would want to be the CEO of a major company, for that matter. Why work 80 hours a week on hard tasks? You can be paid the same for simple tasks and fewer hours.
WG: That doesn’t answer my question.
PE: The value of money is relative. If everyone has 10 times as much money, money is worth 10 times less.
WG: Can’t we just limit the number of hours people are allowed to work? Then women could have a better work-life balance!
PE: Are you suggesting that? We could discuss that.
WG: You’d like that. Lower work hours. That means you could sit at home and jerk off all day. I want to chop off your cock and feed it to my pig. You are so sexist. How about we just remove all negotiation for pay? We can require a business to post their pay scale based on time at the company. They would also have to post a time table for promotions. All pay would be transparent.
PE: If I were a high performing employee, wouldn’t I just go to another company? If I had to wait for a promotion at one company, I could just go to a competitor. The other option is having the government track your work experience, which seems unpalatable. It would then be a government pay scale. If the government didn’t create the pay scale, I would just go to the company that paid the most if I were skilled.
WG: I knew it! You have a tiny penis and are most likely gay! What about the fact that women spend more time with their kids!? I’ve caught you! Stop thinking about your boyfriend and answer me!
PE: Sweden tried that. It didn’t close the gap at all.
WG: Well, fuck you. How would you close the wage gap then?
PE: It might not be possible in a system that has a free market and allows for entrepreneurship. On an individual level, women are doing fine. There are no barriers that don’t exist for men. Women, on average, just traverse them differently.
WG: What if I don’t want to have to try hard but want everything handed to me?
PE: Try marrying someone rich?
WG: Fuck you.