Common Knowledge in Relationships2 min read

I wrote about common knowledge a bit already and have not stopped thinking about it. I think it has a lot to do with my relationships and why the ones I have are generally quite strong, from my perspective.

Shared knowledge is knowledge that both people have but are unsure that the other person has. Common knowledge is knowledge that both people have and know that they each have.

It’s very rare to find someone who dislikes mystery and prefers truth in all cases in my experience. Everyone wants their shared knowledge. It also appears they want to avoid common knowledge on a lot of topics.

In my closest relationships, common knowledge is the norm. When it comes to my wife, she assumes I am going to tell her what I see as reality. This is true even if it is upsetting. This comes with me being willing to talk at length with her about anything that we say.

Since we both insist on everything being out in the open we don’t have any tensions from a knowledge gap. Everything that could be a tension is just a product of our circumstance. We have to deal with those things regardless of having it stated. Everything boils down to something that we are both aware of not being fun that we just have to deal with.

In my other relationships, I’ve always felt that things were being held back and not expressed. I’m not a fan of that feeling. Whoever I am in a relationship with is a part of who I am. I want to know that we are sharing information. I also want us both to be aware we are sharing that information.

Having common knowledge requires saying things that are perceived as mean. It also requires accepting those things that could be hurtful as truthful. Even if they aren’t truthful to you they could be for the other person. You then need to work with that person to either accept those things, change those things, or see those things differently.

I feel like it is much harder to work on something alone when it involves other people. You have no control over those people. It gets even more complicated when your solution might need certain actions from them. It is unfair to expect that. Having everything be common knowledge removes a lot of those expectations.

My wife and I are very self-aware. We have a good image of ourselves and we both think it is accurate about each other. I think that also contributes to us being able to have everything be common knowledge.

I can’t imagine a relationship without everything, including knowledge, being in common.

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