The Simon Says Murderer2 min read

Have you ever wanted to kill someone while playing Simon Says? Sgt. Charles Langley has. Luckily for Daniel Shaver, Charles Langley didn’t have a gun.

Unluckily for Daniel Shaver, he had no choice but to play this game and Mr. Langley’s friend was quite armed. Philip Brailsford did have a gun, and he had lost far too many games of Simon Says while he was younger. Because of this, after Daniel Shaver made a mistake, he shot him 5 times.

This is a normal reaction to a game of Simon Says and why we don’t allow kids to have guns. Could you imagine your life if Billy Thorpe was allowed to shout “Simon didn’t say!” and then strafe you and your friends with an AK-47? Well, if you are officer Brailsford, that is how you remember the school yard game and you aren’t anyone’s bitch anymore. That changed the day you got your first tattoo. Now they are your bitch.

That’s why he wrote “You’re fucked” on his gun. He wasn’t fucked anymore. There would be no more fucking Philip Brailsford. He would win at Simon Says no matter who he was playing against.

Changing Worlds

Don’t watch the video of how Daniel Shaver was murdered. I’m a pretty hardened viewer of disturbing content from ISIS videos to the aftermath of accidents and this was one of the worst for me. It may beat “Two Guys, One Hammer” for making me ask “WTF did I just watch?”

Once you look at all the details of this and realize that people with arts and crafts supplies have been put into similar situations it suddenly becomes pretty crazy to just exist in this world.

I have no interest in involving the police in any situation going forward that I am not sure the person that they may be speaking with has done something they should die for. Since I can’t imagine many situations where I am thinking the police should come kill someone, I’ll not be interacting with them it seems.

It’s important to understand the order of events here:

  • Daniel was doing shots in his room.
  • Daniel showed someone a pellet gun that he used to hunt pests for his job.
  • The police show up and tell him he is playing Simon Says for his life.
  • Daniel does something that Simon doesn’t say.
  • Daniel dies.

Based on all the information I have, I may have to take away my daughter’s Nerf guns, access to the hot glue gun, and anything else that someone might mistake for a weapon.

I’ve seen her play Simon Says. I don’t want her getting shot over it.

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